Activists react to Catholic exclusion of lesbians' son

8-year-old's acceptance to St. Paul Elementary was withdrawn after it was learned he had two moms.

An 8-year-old boy's acceptance to St. Paul Elementary, a Roman Diocese Catholic school in Hingham, was withdrawn this week after it was learned that his parents are lesbians.

The Archdiocese of Boston said May 12 that the school administrators were not following archdiocesan policy in barring the boy from matriculating, and have offered to help the parents find another Catholic school. Terrence Donilon, a spokesman for the Archdiocese, told the Associated Press that the archdiocese is now in "consultation with the pastor and principal to gather more information."

During a conference call with parish priest Rev. James Rafferty and principal Cynthia Duggan, the third-grader's parents learned that he would be denied admission because their relationship is "in discord" with church teachings.

"We weren't hiding," one of the boy's mothers, who was granted anonymity fearing that publicity would harm the child, said. She and her partner each listed their names on their son's admission forms. "I'm accustomed to discrimination, I suppose, at my age and my experience as a gay woman. ...But I didn't expect it against my child."

"Children of LGBT families attend Catholic schools all over Massachusetts every day without incident," said DeeDee Edmondson, political director of MassEquality. "We commend the Archdiocese of Boston for making clear that it does not discriminate against the children of same-sex partners in its school system. We hope the Archdiocese will work with St. Paul's to help all children be welcome there."

State Representative Garrett J. Bradley, who grew up in the St. Paul parish, spoke with the Boston Globe about the decision to rescind the child's acceptance.

"These parents thought enough of St. Paul's to want to send their child there; St. Paul's thought enough of their child to admit him. For the school to then discriminate against him and withdraw his acceptance because of his sexual orientation is not only inappropriate, but mind-blowing," Bradley said. "Shame on St. Paul's, and shame on us as a community if we allow it."

Local LGBT advocacy organizations are speaking out over the child's exclusion. "As the parent of two grade school kids, my heart breaks for this family," said Scott Gortikov, executive director of MassEquality. "Many of us send our children to religious schools so that they may receive religious instruction and spiritual inspiration. But this is not a lesson we would want any child to learn. They should be learning [about] love and compassion, not rejection."

The Associated Press reported that this is only the most recent instance of private school discrimination in the past weeks. Last month in Boulder, Colo., a Catholic school denied entry to a prekindergarten student because the child's parents were lesbians. The Denver Archdiocese posted a statement in support of the Sacred Heart of Jesus school's decision, prompting LGBT advocacy groups to take out a full-page ads in local newspapers in protest.

"I just think it's extremely unfortunate that the school has chosen to single out this child they had previously admitted just because he has two moms," said Karen Loewy, a senior staff attorney at Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD).

"What St. Paul's Elementary has done is indefensible," said Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of the Family Equality Council. Chrisler compared the school's decision to mainstream beliefs regarding LGBT parenting. "The Child Welfare League of America, in the business of protecting children since 1920, has been unequivocally clear: 'Any attempt to preclude or prevent gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals or couples from parenting, based solely on their sexual orientation, is not in the best interest of children.' The National Adoption Center, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Medical Association, and American Psychological Association agree gay parents are good parents."

The Hingham boy's mother said that her son will likely attend public school in the fall, as it may be too late to get him admitted to another private school. She and her partner don't regularly attend church, but do identify as Christians and wanted their child's education to emphasize spiritual values, such as empathy and compassion, she said.

"There are many different non-traditional families that fall under the umbrella of the Catholic Church, and I guess we assumed we would fall under one of those," she told the AP. Children of divorced parents have traditionally been allowed to attend Catholic schools, despite the church's refusal to recognize divorce.

"It's sad that a school which purports to dedicate itself to teaching kids how to treat others well would set such a bad example for all its students, parents, and staff," Arline Isaacson, co-chair of the Massachusetts Gay & Lesbian Political Caucus, said. "Unless the school prohibits children from divorced families from attending school, they are showing that their true motivations are prejudice, not godliness."

Rafferty told the AP that the women's relationship is "in discord with the teachings of the Catholic Church," which believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman, she said.

While Massachusetts does have laws barring discrimination based on sexual orientation in schools, these laws apply only to public schools. "I think it's extremely unlikely that there's any real legal recourse," for the parents, said Loewy. "The statutes that are specifically focused on prohibiting sexual orientation discrimination in schools...it's really related to public schools. It seems pretty unlikely that they would have real legal recourse."

The Associated Press reported last week that the head of education for the Boston Archdiocese has offered to help the boy's mothers find a different Catholic school for him to attend. According to a statement, superintendent Mary Grassa O'Neill spoke with one of the parents and "offered to help enroll her child in another Catholic school in the archdiocese."

"We believe that every parent who wishes to send their child to a Catholic school should have the opportunity to pursue that dream," O'Neill said.

One of the mothers said that O'Neill apologized, and called her remarks "compassionate."