Bully

Having made headlines recently due to its R-rating from the MPAA, "Bully" is a film that is hard to categorize. Hard-hitting, emotional, difficult, uncomfortable, nauseating, important, funny, and heart-breaking, it's a film that begs to be seen, but also raises ire as well as more questions.

Directed by Lee Hirsch (also a victim of bullying during his middle-school years), the film follows five families as they deal with bullying that is occurring or has occurred in their lives. The film's main focus is a 12 year old boy named Alex - a sweet kid whose appearance and social discomfort make him a prime target for bullies. So used to the torment, he later admits to his mother that he would have no friends if he didn't hang around with the bullies; thus, he allows their abuse. The abuse gets so bad, the filmmakers eventually have no choice but to intervene.

Kelby is a 16 year old lesbian, comfortable in her own skin, but whose small town of Tuttle, Oklahoma refuses to accept her. Once a star athlete with the skills to make it professionally, she was forced to quit the basketball team because of the bile from her classmates and teachers. Staying in the school - for her - means hoping to open people's eyes, so while every single day might be a challenge for her, she refuses to leave town.

Ja-Meya is a soft spoken 14 year old who was bullied so much on her school bus that she finally took matters into her own hands and attempted to scare her bullies by waving a loaded gun at them. Incarcerated in a juvenile detention facility, the tragedy here is the loss of time with her loving mother and the lack of understanding from authority figures who only see the actions she took, rather than the actions that caused her to take them.
The most tragic of the film's participants are the parents of sons who took their own lives rather than deal with the bullying one day longer.

David and Tina Long's portions of the film are notably heart wrenching as we are allowed to see home movies of their son Tyler Long. A happy go-lucky kid, as he got older he pulled back and became more anti-social. His mannerisms and personality soon became the focus of the school bullies and at age 17 he hung himself in his bedroom closet. The testimony of David and Tina is agonizing and the reaction they endured from school and town officials is unbelievably heartless.

Lastly, we are allowed into the world of Kirk and Laura Smalley whose son Ty also killed himself. Ty was eleven years old. The heart-breaking aspect of the Smalley's story is witnessing not only Ty's best friend break down when talking about Ty, but being a part of the actual funeral where the grief of Ty's family and friends is palpable.

The main comment I can give on this film is simply: Go. No matter what I might say about the film's strengths and/or weaknesses, this is an important film that should be required viewing. A change needs to be made, and this could be an informative first step.

That said, I'm here to review, so I will do my best. The first point to address about "Bully" is the rating. For those wondering if it's appropriate to bring their children to, the answer is yes - if you want to educate them about how bullying affects not only those that are bullied, but also the people around them. Aside from various incarnations of the "f" bomb being dropped - and a brief but disturbing bit of violence (there is no blood) - there is nothing here that should completely shock anyone - other than the mind-blowingly ignorant and unhelpful reactions of school and town officials; not to mention the kids doing the bullying.

One of those officials is Assistant Principal Kim Lockwood of a Sioux City middle school who at first, seems to be really caring and careful with her kids. But when bullying needs to be addressed, she was woefully ineffective - to the point of being offensive. (Apparently after viewing the film at a public screening, she gave an emotional apology for how it was handled.)

Director Lee Hirsch creates a lovely palette for the film, giving us a sense of time and place and allowing us to get to know the players. What is missing, however, is a psychological professional that could explain the details about not only the effects bullying has on a child, but what the school officials should be doing to stop it. Watching Lockwood, for example, we see her mishandle volatile situations with statements that are dumbfounding. (When one boy has been bullied for weeks, she all but blames him and insists that he and his bully could someday be "great friends." Even though the bully had repeatedly threatened to kill him.) It would have been nice to hear from someone who could explain in layman's terms "why" her approach was wrong and how it could be handled. In that, the film takes a slight misstep.

What it does do right is immerses us into five stories where bullying took its toll. We deeply feel for the people involved, we understand their frustration, and we desperately want to reach out to help. (Or we should.) I don't want to paint the film as a big downer because I want people to see it, but prepare yourself for a relentless melancholy. Perhaps it's my own experience with bullying that informs my reaction. Watching Alex get bullied on the bus on a daily basis was like watching a videotape of my own life. For me, every bus ride was sheer torture - not being allowed to sit down, having people poke and hit me while others ruined my belongings. No one can understand the daily stress this causes - where you wake up and literally shake with fear as you anticipate the fifteen-minute bus ride. That's not a way to live. And if you haven't experienced this type of distress, Hirsch will take you along to find out. You will watch as Alex goes through the same thing. And when you hear his shaky breath and see the nervous tics start to display as he makes his way to the bus stop, you will forever change the way you look at how you treat people.

At home, Alex is just a happy kid with a teasing sister and loving mother. But at school, he is a confused boy who allows himself to be hurt because otherwise, he would disappear. The sad fact is, by allowing the bullying, people like him might make themselves disappear. And if we as a human race don't do something about it - that is a tragedy we are all responsible for. "Bully" is a good first step in educating and preventing it.