Sweating with Your Sweetie :: The Pros and Cons of Getting Your Burn on Together

Kilian Melloy READ TIME: 4 MIN.

Now that you're more than a month into your health and fitness goals for 2015, you might be thinking it's time to spice up your workouts by inviting your spouse/partner to join you at the gym. But, before you embark on the journey of sweating with your sweetie... it's important to take into consideration the pros and cons of working out with your spouse, to insure that both of you are successful in accomplishing your health and fitness goals.

Gwen and I are personal trainers and co-owners at Fitness Together Mis- sion Hills, and have been married for 19 years. We both agree that it takes commitment, dedication and realistic expectations to make working out with your spouse a healthy and happy experience.

PRO: Share in the Experience of Getting Fit Together

One of the biggest assets to accomplishing your health and fitness goals is having an accountability partner who motivates you and supports your journey toward a healthy lifestyle. You're going to need encouragement along the way. If your workout buddy is your spouse/partner, then it's easier to stay motivated and accountable to each other. You're setting a couple goal together, which can be a powerful thing.

When your fitness partner is also your spouse, it allows you to be on the same page both mentally and logistically. It's a lot easier to make eating healthy and working out regularly a priority in your life, when your spouse commits to making the same lifestyle choices.

Gwen agrees. "Couples who sweat together, stay together. When you work out with your spouse, you come away with feelings of a cooperative spirit, a shared passion and the feeling of synchronization. When you both have the same goals of being healthy and fit, it can be a real powerhouse for any relationship."

This joint commitment to fitness not only helps to support personal growth, but also can lead to improvements in your relationship and the overall outlook in your household.

CON: Different Goals and Approaches May Hinder Results

A common hang-up that can deter couples from working out together is when each person has different exercise goals and fitness levels. Even if a husband and wife are both striving to lose weight or gain strength, it's important to remember that men and women typically need to approach their fitness goals differently in order to get the results they need.

Couples need to know upfront that men lose weight and grow muscle faster. So, it's important for each person to have accurate baselines and realistic goals, when they start working out together. It can be a challenge
for couples/partners/lovers who have two different types of workout approaches. It can even be difficult for the two of us because I'm going hard and heavy while Gwen is going light and fast. Gwen is more patient, and I'm not.

One solution that we have found to overcome the obstacle of having different workout approaches and attitudes, is to focus less on doing the same exercises and more on working out in the same place and at the same time. Going together and leaving together, but doing your own exercise routine while at the gym, can be a great approach for mutual success.

"When Blake and I go to the gym together, he's working out separately from me, but we're both there together," interjects Gwen. "We can look across the room and smile at each other. It's a good feeling to know we're both on the same page and we're both willing to work out, stay healthy and fit for each other. Knowing that Blake cares enough about me to take care of his body is a great feeling."

PRO: Work Through Obstacles Together and Celebrate Accomplishments

Every fitness routine will have its ups and its downs. Working out with your spouse allows the two of you to share in celebrating the accomplishments along the way, as well as support each other through the inevitable setbacks and obstacles you'll face. There will be some big wins you'll share along the way and setbacks you can work through with each other. Usually, going through dif- ficult things together is when you grow your relationship. Having someone in your corner who can relate to what you're going through and cheering you on along the way will not only strengthen your commitment to establishing a healthy lifestyle for each other, it also can have a positive impact on your marriage. Working out together can be a real relationship builder, it can lead to a stronger closeness, improved intimacy, increased endorphins and more energy.

CON: Schedules Can Challenge Busy Couples

Finding time to work out is one of the most common obstacles for busy individuals when adopting a healthy, fit lifestyle. But, when you have dual-income spouses juggling professional and family responsibilities, it can be nearly impossible to get on the same workout schedule.

Instead of adding stress and tension by trying to force the issue of working out together regularly, make it a point to exercise together during special occasions like family vacations and holiday breaks. You can still reap the benefits of reconnecting and supporting each other's fitness goals, even if you can only manage to work out together at various times throughout the year.

Gwen adds, "I love destination workouts. When you're on vacation, it's like an adventure and you can't say you don't have enough time. We just enjoy being together. It's fun to have him spotting me and me spotting him. We give each other high fives and offer the same encouragement to each other, that we give our clients in the studio." It's healthy for any partnership to commit to living a fitness-focused lifestyle. But, make sure you work through the pros and cons discussed before you decide to get your burn on together. Whether you work out at the same time or maintain separate sessions, the most important thing is to support each other's efforts while committing to being healthy and fit for you and your family.


by Kilian Melloy , EDGE Staff Reporter

Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.

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