Build It :: Leather & Kink Gatherings in SF and Chicago

One of the many pleasures that keeps me engaged in this wonderful leather and kink scene of ours is seeing our kinky kind coming together at the many events where we can socialize and connect. The landscape of our scene is shifting. Technology has enabled kinksters to connect directly while our traditional gathering spaces are dwindling in number. On the face of it, it's disheartening that our past ways of communing have decreased.

Do not despair though. We kinksters are a clever bunch. As the ways we meet and connect change, we adapt. Instead of always having consistent venues where we can simply drop in and meet others like us in the flesh, we're increasingly resorting to creating one-time or ongoing special events that draw us in. I'd like to talk about two such events specifically as examples, one being local and the other international in scope.

As I look at these two events, as well as so many others, I'm reminded of the saying, "Build it and they will come," popularized in the movie Field of Dreams, and now a part of our cultural referential language. Creative leatherfolk and kinksters have realized that if we want to sustain an active social culture, we must create our own mechanisms for connecting. We can't count on existing institutions to necessarily do it for us.

The SF Eagle played host to an amazing local event that embodied the 'build it and they will come' mantra. The event, called Tribe, took place this past weekend. Lexx King was the inspiration and organizing center for this packed house of leathered and geared men in numbers I haven't seen at a bar event in San Francisco for years. It was truly reminiscent of the leather bars of yesteryear, but with a modern take that made it entirely relevant today.

Along with a crowd of hot, sexy men, there was great music, gogo men and BDSM performances to add to the already sizzling feeling in the bar.

Rather than accept that leathermen and gear guys won't go out en masse anymore, Lexx decided to use his connections as part of BLUF SF (the San Francisco chapter of the men's Breeches and Leather Uniform Fanclub organization) in partnership with the SF Eagle to create an event that would draw such men to the bar. They succeeded, overwhelmingly. It was a massive success with everyone I talked to saying it was among the best times they've had in a bar in a long time.

Sure, the iconic leather bar of yore is no longer around. That's just the way it is. That era will never return and it's folly to pine for those days. Reality is what it is. But that doesn't mean we can't resurrect some semblance of the same leather/gear erotic atmosphere those bars and clubs had. Tribe did just that and I hope they do more such events in the future.

Chicago's IML

For a much bigger and more established event that attracts kinky gay men, none are bigger than the International Mr. Leather (IML) weekend held every Memorial Day weekend in Chicago. This was IML's 39th year and it continues to grow. It was again headquartered at the Congress Plaza Hotel with attendees overflowing into many of the surrounding hotels. The associated International Mr. Leather and International Mr. Bootblack (IMBB) competitions were held at a new venue, the stunningly beautiful Auditorium Theater located conveniently just across the street from the host hotel.

My favorite part of the event socially is often the Leather Market. For the few days during IML the host hotel houses what I believe is the biggest kink shopping opportunity in the world. Leather and gear retailers from around the world set up shop in the hotel, and thousands of people shop there over the course of the four days they're open for business. Lots of shopping takes place, of course; but the chance to wander the aisles, socialize and cruise adds to the allure of this one-of-a-kind experience.

Through the five days of IML, there is so much to do that you can't possibly do it all. Among the IML offerings are the contest and Leather Market, but in addition there are daily recovery meetings, various meet and greet gatherings for specific kinks and fetishes, San Francisco party, Leather Archives and Museum auction, receptions and cocktail socials, newly added educational sessions, and much more.

The Bay Area fared quite well in the IML/IMBB competition this year, with our current Mr. San Francisco Leather, Geoff Millard, standing on the IML podium as first runner up, and Pawlish (aka Ryan Garner-Carpenter) who recently moved to Ohio from the Bay Area winning IMBB.

Geoff went into the competition extremely well prepared, and it showed at every step in the contest process. After the interview portion of the contest, in which he obviously did well, Geoff performed well in the first night of the stage portion of the contest with his pop question and the second night with his speech. Geoff did San Francisco proud.

I asked Geoff what the experience was like for him.

"IML was the most physically and mentally difficult thing I've done since I returned from Iraq, and it was worth every second of pain. It is not a contest but a crucible of fire that bonds you to your classmates. Think of basic training, only with love building you up rather than drill sergeants tearing you down."

Bravo, Geoff. Well done.

Standing atop the IML podium was the contest's winner, Ralph Bruneau, Mr. GNI Leather 2016. Ralph nailed it the first night of the stage competition when he answered his pop question in spontaneous song. Ralph's following evening's speech and entire presentation throughout the weekend was stellar and his win was well deserved.

I also know Ralph personally and can attest to him being a quality man who will represent the IML title with class. That Ralph is 63, and therefore the oldest man to ever win the IML title, makes me as another 63-year old leatherman quite happy, seeing my age bracket reflected in the current titleholder.

I asked Ralph what he was proudest of as the winner of IML.

"We've lost so many brilliant men of my generation to the plague," he said. "I owe it to them, I owe it to myself, to live a life visible and with meaning."

Speaking of age, this year saw the oldest contestant in IML history at 73, Jon Brittain, Mr. Class Leather. Never believe you're too old to do anything.
While IML weekend specifically caters to kinky gay men, a smattering of women attend. Few are more fashionable than our own Bay Area treasure, Midori. photo: Rich Stadtmiller

Second runner up for IML was Joe King, Mr. Leather Europe 2016.

The winner of IMBB, Pawlish, had this to say when I asked him what made him proud.

"What I'm truly proudest of, even more than bringing home the title, is simply the experience of this year's event," said Pawlish. "There was such incredible effort to move IMBB and IML towards the idea of 'one class' and it was overwhelming. It was truly life-changing, without any clich� or hyperbole, and I'm so excited to nurture that growth over the next year."

The IMBB first runner-up was Rhys.

It should be noted that the Bay Area was also represented by the masterful co-emcees for the contest, Lenny Broberg and Thib Guicherd-Callin, and one of the IML judges, Lance Holman.

It was announced that next year's IML weekend will again be headquartered at the Congress Plaza Hotel. I think IML is one of those iconic events that every gay leatherman or kinkster should consider attending at least once. Check out their website and book your reservations soon. www.imrl.com.

Race Bannon is a local author, blogger and activist. You can reach him on his website, www.bannon.com