Sex is a Smorgasbord

I've noticed a creeping trend lately when it comes to how some people present their sexualities, kinky or otherwise. This happens mostly online on cruising sites and apps, but it seems to be happening increasingly during face-to-face engagements I've witnessed.

What I've noticed is how remarkably precise and specific some people have become with their stated sexual identities and options. Not only have sexual positions and power dynamic roles often been demarcated, but the erotic options within those structures are listed with no wiggle room for adventure or exploration.

My ex, Guy Baldwin, had a wonderful metaphor he'd use in his presentations and writings about sexuality, kink sexuality in particular, but it pertains to all of sexuality. I've poached this metaphor many times because it's so good.

Guy would liken sexuality to a smorgasbord. While there may be a seemingly endless variety of foods on the table, few people like them all. Nor should they feel compelled to like them all. We can pick and choose those that we like and leave the others for people with different tastes. The goal is to have an enjoyable meal, not to try everything on the table.

Just as with gastronomic tastes, sexual tastes vary. Some like spaghetti and some like egg rolls. Some like both. No choice is better than another. It's all a matter of personal preference.

Plus, we get to choose different foods each time we walk up to the table. How many of us have eaten the same meal every time? Few of us. We like variety in our food. Most of us like variety in our sexuality too.

Also, people change. Many people's erotic fantasies and activities grow, shift and morph in different directions throughout their life. People might grab and try something new off the erotic smorgasbord table today that they wouldn't have dreamed of considering five or ten years ago.