Post-Armond, 'The White Lotus' Star Murray Bartlett is 'Happy To Be Where I Am'

When the pandemic hit, Murray Bartlett feared he'd never act again. The out actor, best known for playing Dom on HBO's "Looking" and Michael "Mouse" Tolliver in the reboot of "Tales of the City". He and his partner had just moved to Provincetown and the then-48-year-old wondered, "What do I do? Do I teach drama?"

The Guardian caught up with Bartlett in Ptown recently as he was preparing for his 50th birthday with thoughts of career insecurity having all but gone away. "It is not often that an actor gets their breakout role at 50," the article reads, but such is the case with the Aussie-born actor. The role is that of Armond, the fastidious hotel manager on HBO Max's summer hit "The White Lotus", whose emotional collapse is followed with grim humor.

"His descent from assured, capable, sober hotelier to rogue manager, high on drugs stolen from two teenage guests, set on sabotaging a deeply unpleasant honeymooner, is spectacular – and probably the TV moment of the year," writes the Guardian.

For Bartlett, Armond was a dream role that he felt was easily relatable.

"Armond represents that part of all of us that is like, 'What the fuck? What are we doing? What is going on?' He's waking up to the insanity of the nightmare that he's in and just can't hold up the public face anymore." The character has an "incredible trajectory," he says. "It's a dreamy thing for an actor to look at – for me, anyway – because I guess I haven't had many opportunities to do that."

On the show, a passive/aggressive relationship with an entitled guest (a letter-perfect Jake Lacy) triggers Armond's downfall, which ends with a jaw-dropping moment in the final episode. Would Bartlett have acted out like Armond?

"No, I think I would have internalized it all," he says. "I'm too much of a people pleaser and I just would have been eaten up inside by it. I would have left that job years ago; I don't think I would have lasted as long as Armond did."

That jaw-dropping moment is one of the most talked-about moments on television this year, but how did Bartlett feel (spoiler alert) about defecating on camera?

"There's something very satisfying as an actor about being given the license to fully follow through on what this character has in mind or what they're feeling," says Bartlett. He wasn't fazed about performing the scene when he read the script. "It's the moments after, where you're like, 'Oh, hang on, that means I've got to be in a room with 100 people, shitting in a suitcase. That's gonna be weird.'"

Bartlett can identify with Armond's addiction issues, but in a different way. "I don't struggle with addiction in the traditional sense, but I feel very aware of those tendencies in myself at different times in my life," he says. "When I've broken up from relationships, I've completely fallen apart at times, because that's my drug. If you don't have substance-addiction issues, it's hard to fully understand what that is, but, emotionally, I feel as if I can get a sense."

The actor said it was easy to come out to his mother, who had a lot of gay friends, but found it more difficult with his dad, who has come to accept him. What surprised him was that when he left home, he didn't find that acceptance. "My problems started when I went to acting school and became an adult. I was like, 'Oh fuck, why doesn't everyone love me like my mum does?."

Bartlett worked in Australian television before moving to New York in 2000. His first American break was on an episode of "Sex and the City" as a shoe importer Carrie Bradshaw meets at a gay club. He learned the rigors of acting on a daily basis with long-term roles on the soap operas "All My Children" and "The Guiding Light", the latter of which he was featured in 250 episodes. Meanwhile, he sought more high-profile projects, but was rejected. Did he feel frustrated?

"Definitely, at times. But that's the path that you choose. You learn a lot from being rejected a lot, which is what you do as an actor. Most of the time, you're not getting the jobs. There are times when you think: 'Oh well, maybe this is it – maybe I've gone as far as I can go,' or: 'Is this practical anymore?'" he says. "There were times when I didn't have those opportunities [such as 'The White Lotus'] where I was like, 'I feel as if I can do a lot more and I want to be able to show that.' And so there were times I was like, 'Maybe that's just not my path.'"

The role of Dom on "Looking" was a breakthrough because not only was it a leading role on an HBO series, but it also allowed him a level of authenticity. He admired how both shows were "trying to show intimacy, especially between men, in a way that feels authentic and feels loving and feels connected, in a way that I feel we don't see enough." This includes a scene in "The White Lotus" in which Armond is found rimming Dillon over his desk (the show's second-most-talked-about moment).

As for turning 50, Bartlett admits it comes with more aches and pains, and some reflection. "It's the nature – for me, at least – of hitting those milestones where you reflect back and think: 'Well, am I where I want to be in my life?' And I am," he says. "We made the choice to move out of the city. I'm in nature again, which I feel is my natural habitat. I'm in a wonderful relationship. I had this amazing opportunity to do this job. Reflecting back, I just felt incredibly lucky and happy to be where I am."