2023 Rewind: EDGE Interview: Zachary Zane Embraces Being 'The Boyslut' in Memoir and Manifesto

EDGE: Representation is important, but even within the queer community there is still challenges for the bisexual community. What needs to be done to change this?

Zachary Zane: It's happening even within our own bi community. I've met bi women who still refuse to date bi guys. That's a soul punch for us. That's harder than even when a straight woman or a gay guy refuses to date a bi person. I think that visibility is kind of the first and needed step. I don't want visibility to be the end game, but we kind of hail visibility as this panacea that solves everything. I really see visibility as kind of the first step of a movement. I do think bisexuals are having a movement right now, which is very cool. We are not a small community and people need to treat us with respect, but it's also to let members of our community know that you are not alone. Visibility is a step towards fighting discrimination and helping building more community.

EDGE: You talk a lot about sex positivity. By your definition, what is it?

Zachary Zane: It's owning and embracing whatever your relationship is with sex. Always respect other people's relationship with sex. I try to make it clear in the book that my goal is not for everyone to be fucking 5,000 people without condoms and taking loads. If you are asexual, I want you to embrace that. I want you to be able to find a partner that embraces your asexuality. If you are demisexual, asexual, bisexual, or gay and you love having sex every day go for it and enjoy it. Never feel shame. I want you to have whatever your relationship with sex is. It may be a ton of sex, a little bit of sex, kinky sex, and vanilla sex. Never feel shame and own your ideal relationship style too, whether that is polyamorous, monogamous, or open. That's what I really see sex positivity as. its allowing and having space for absolutely everyone to embrace who they are.

EDGE: Are there downsides of sex positivity?

Zachary Zane: I don't think so. I think for the most part it's just allowing you to live your life without shame. To have the relationship style that you want. Sex positivity is not forcing yourself onto someone or forcing your ideals onto them. I think it just allows for healthy relationships with sex and healthy romantic relationships.

EDGE: How do you get over the shame?

Zachary Zane: So much of the external shame that we have is what causes the internal shame. I really try to emphasize this in the book I think finding community will help rid of any shame that you are feeling. Before I was out, I felt a lot more shame because I wasn't talking about it with anyone. I thought I was alone. I don't want to pretend I'm completely shameless. I wish I was, but I also live in the real world, and I have human emotions. I think I'm better now that I have experienced shame. I'm able to label it, recognize it, talk myself out of it, and then proceed on my way. Finding a community that is full of friends and people who love, support, and embrace you is extremely important. It helps keep you on the forward path.

EDGE: What do you love most about being a 'boyslut'?

Zachary Zane: The sex! I'm someone who doesn't just love sex for the pleasure. I'm fascinated by it. One of the fun things about being a 'boyslut,' and a sex writer is that there are new kinks that I'm learning about every day. Just the other day, my friend was messaging me about a whistle kink. Not a cat calling kink, but when a coach whistles during practice. How fun, I want to try this. I think the fun part about being a boyslut is the fact that there are infinite numbers of ways to have sex. So many fun things you can explore while feeling empowered and shameless to explore some of these absolutely wild fucking things. I find it fascinating. I love it. It's fun and it's therapeutic.

Check out pics from Zane's IG: