EDGE Interview: Tom Goss. A Little Hard, A Little Tender

Last time gay singer-songwriter Tom Goss brought out an album it was 2019 – pre-pandemic days, in some ways a happier and less confusing time. Only, for Goss, the times had already become complicated: After finding his husband in bed with another man, Goss was faced with the prospect of an open marriage... not something he relished.

But Goss made the best of it, finding another significant connection in his life and falling in life with a British man, with whom he had a five-year relationship. That was the inspiration behind the songs on "Territories," Goss' album from four years ago.

Fast forward to today: The polyamorous relationship has disintegrated, and the ex-boyfriend is in jail. (More about that below.) Goss, on the other hand, remains married to his husband, upbeat about his life, and prolific in his art. His new CD, "Remember What It Feels Like," is a super-sized 15 tracks, most of them happy, dancey, and full of joyous energy... even when the lyrics drip with vengeful satisfaction, as they do in the tracks "Not My Problem" and "Fall Before You Fly," the latter of which is the closest the setlist comes to a ballad aside from the slow-burning, gorgeous "Show Me Something Beautiful."

Otherwise, the album is a party that beholds quotidian subjects like asking someone out ("First Date"), being cruised by a good-looking stranger and enjoying it ("Oh No!"), or taking a moment to appreciate your spouse or significant other ("Don't Wanna"), and makes them into sunny pleasures. Sonically, the album is as complex and ambitious as anything the artist has ever done, especially electronica-infused tunes like the pro-LGTBQ+ anthem "Literally" and the Dengue Fever-ish "Undercover Summer."

EDGE caught up with Goss to hear about his new trove of songs, how he's dealing with having entered his 40s, and how he can possibly be so damn happy after his recent experiences.

EDGE: "Remember How it Felt" is a bouncier, dancier album than your last one, "Territories," which had a lot of ballads and moody pieces. Are you in a happier place now?

Tom Goss: The guy I was dating [when I made] "Territories" is now in prison. There was, honestly, a lot that happened that was completely out of my control – the situations surrounding "Territories" were traumatic. But at the end of the day, I'm still happy. I love the world. It's beautiful, it's joyful, it's full of amazing things. That's really what this [new] record is about. Like, "Okay, shit's falling down around you? It's no biggie. It's just another Tuesday."

EDGE: Was he a con man or something?

Tom Goss: Yeah, it was literally a global catfishing scheme. He was embezzling millions of dollars to create and prop up this façade, and it finally caught up to him. Nobody knew until everybody knew. It was a big scandal, all over the tabloids.

EDGE: Play yourself in the miniseries.

Tom Goss: Yeah, yeah, I already wrote the screenplay.

[Laughter]

EDGE: The first song on the new album, "I Don't Wanna," make me think, "Maybe this is a reset for Tom and Mike. Maybe the 'open' phase of their marriage has shifted back to just the two of them."

Tom Goss: The irony of that song is, that was written for my boyfriend. He was kind of having a breakdown. I didn't know at the time that he was having a breakdown because he knew the police were on to him, and he was about to get arrested. I just thought he was sad.

EDGE: So then, the song "Not My Problem," where you reference him being in prison – is that the big kiss-off? Or are you still in touch with him?

Tom Goss: That's the flip side. It's the same relationship, a couple of months later. I'm not in contact with him anymore. He still does write me from prison. Once a week, or sometimes more, I'll open up my mailbox, and there's this letter from prison in the UK, which is a fucking weird thing to get. There's a bunch of unopened envelopes sitting in my house.

EDGE: Let me ask you about the song "Perfect, the Enemy of Good." At what point did you say, "I have to accept that things can be sloppy, and that that can also be perfect in its own way"?

Tom Goss: I thought about this idea as, like, "Oh, so much of my unhappiness comes from perfectionism. Even when I accomplish something, I'm not focused on it because I'm focused on the details that are wrong instead of focusing on the great piece that's right."

Things aren't perfect, and life isn't perfect, and that's okay. If this non-perfect thing that you're doing is bringing you joy, that is in and of itself perfect. So just have fun, you know?

EDGE: Is that also your response to hitting your 40s?

Tom Goss: Not consciously, but, yeah... I mean, look, I'm in an industry where you're too old at 25. I constantly feel too old and out of place, and I'm not particularly cool. In a way, "Territories" was my last chance to be cool.

I think one of the reasons that my career isn't more successful is that I'm not full of angst. I'm too polished – nobody wants that. They want to see the artist struggling. But I really am just that joyful, earnest, Midwestern guy, the boy next door who wants to go out and play. If it means that I'm not cool enough to be respected by the industry, then so be it. But I'll have happiness, and that's the ultimate win.

EDGE: There's a fun "let's have a first date" song on the new album. Would you be open to dating again?

Tom Goss: I'm always open to joy in whatever form that takes. This is ironic, [coming from] a person who has a beefcake calendar and who's constantly being hypersexual in music videos, but I'm not an overly sexual person. For me, it's about connection and being open and connected, and finding really good experiences.

But I do think it would be impossible to go through the last seven years without having pieces of me that are a little hard, or a little tender inside. I'm still trying to work that out.

EDGE: You have a video coming out for "Perfect the Enemy of Good." You've been directing videos for yourself and for others for a while now – did you direct this new one?

Tom Goss: Yeah, I directed that. It's actually kind of ironic, because the most important person in that video backed out 24 hours before we were shooting. I was like, "Oh shit! All my planning around this video is now impossible." I didn't even have wardrobe. I was like, "This is not the perfect thing that I want it to be, but it'll still be a bunch of fun." So, I went and made a music video that I had no idea what it was going to be when I walked into the room. It kind of was perfect in a lot of ways, because it was exactly what the song is talking about.

EDGE: The album closes with a song about living your best life. What's still on your bucket list at this point?

Tom Goss: I don't really think of the world in that way. I experience things that the majority of the people on this Earth would love to experience. But I notice when I'm doing these things – when I'm traveling, especially – is that you talk to people, and they're like, "Oh we did that. We did that. We did that." It's like checking things off of a list: "We had that experience. We own that experience."

I don't have any interest in that. I want to exist and be joyful, and that's it. That might mean that I have the opportunity to go to Iceland, and I'm going to take that opportunity. And that might mean that I have the opportunity to sit next to somebody in the hospital as they're going through a horrible experience, and I'm going to take that opportunity. That's what I think is the most beautiful intersection of life: When you are with people, and you're connecting with people, as it is meant to be. So, I don't have an idea of something that I need to do that will fulfill me because then I will own that experience. My goal in life is to be open to what the world brings me, and to be fully present in whatever that is.

EDGE: That's more of your happy Tom Goss attitude.

Tom Goss: It's not always joyful. Sometimes it's a horribly sad day. And that's what this record is about – like, remember what it feels like, all the things. Sometimes it's like, "Okay, we're going to be sad together. I'm going to be angry." But that's it. That's what this is right now.

"Remember What it Felt Like" releases July 7. Click here for more information.