Dec 5
Luke Evans Chokes Up Describing the Moment He Came Out to His Religious Mom
Kilian Melloy READ TIME: 4 MIN.
Action star and "Beauty and the Beast" hunk Luke Evans got emotional talking about how he came out to his Jehovah's Witness parents after a closeted childhood in a strict religious household.
"The Welsh actor and singer, 45, who is in a relationship with boyfriend Fran Tomas, knew his sexuality from a very young age but was too afraid to come out to his parents Yvonne and David in case they 'disowned him' because of their religion," UK newspaper the Daily Mail reported.
The out "Hobbit" star – whose new memoir, "Boy from the Valleys: My Unexpected Journey," was recently released – looked back on his childhood years, a time when he faced bullying and felt forced by his family's adherence to their faith to deny his fundamental self.
Appearing on the Gay Star News podcast, Evans "admitted he suffered an 'extremely painful' childhood, having been bullied in school for being Jehovah's Witness and gay," the account relayed.
Reading an excerpt from his memoir, Evans narrated that after he came out to his mother, "I was painfully aware that to my mother what I just told her was effectually like holding my suicide note."
"I was gay, so I would die at Armageddon. To her it was as simple as that.... being gay meant that while she and dad got to live in paradise on earth, they were going to lose me. It's still something my parents think to this day."
Evans became tearful while reading from the book, the Mail recounted.
"As a Jehovah's Witness it was her duty to protect the flock from any rotten apples," he continued, "and as an openly gay man, I was right up there with the worst of humanity."
However, his mother showed him her love in a tender moment that still gets the muscular actor choked up. "When we got back to the house, mam took me in her arms and I felt so..."
That was all he could manage for a moment as he grew emotional. After a brief pause, he went on to read aloud, "I felt so much love and acceptance in that hug and I started to cry."
He also felt relief, he said, that "one of the two people I love most in the world knew the real me."
"Mam now understood the trauma I had suffered over the years," Evans read. "I no longer needed to hide about who I really was."
The moment arrived after a lifetime of angst. The actor explained that his parents were "newly Jehovah's Witness" when he was born, and "their life was all about that."
He also knew early on that he would not be accepted in his parents' faith if he were to be honest about who he was. As many queer people do after being fed the idea that their essential nature is somehow "wrong" or "sinful," Evans decided to look into getting professional help as a way to address his innate sexuality.
What he heard was more truthful than some LGBTQ+ people hear from health providers.
"I'd been into the yellow pages at age 14 and I had enough money to go to have one consultation with this physiologist. My friend at the time drove me there, I confided in her that I had these feelings."
With enough money on hand for only one consult, he saw the physiologist, Evans recounted, "and this very nice gay man opened the door and I sat with him."
After Evans explained why he was there, "he said, 'You are not alone. I am a gay man and I am very happy, I have lots of friends, I have a good life, and you will too. You will just have to get through.'"
"I went home and somehow got through the next two years," he continued, "knowing there was people out there like me. I just knew I needed to leave home and not hurt my parents. I knew by 13 or 14 I was clearly gay."
The prospect of leaving seemed the best alternative from early on, the Evans noted.
"I knew from such a young age that if I was going to have any happy life I had to leave and I knew that I would have to lose people and start again," Evans said on the podcast.
Like many queer youths, he suffered at the hands of schoolmates. Being a Jehovah's Witness only made the bullying worse.
"I was the one who got bullied, I was called 'Jovy,'" Evans recalled of his days at a school where he was one of only two students belonging to that faith.
"As much as I tried to be nice, nobody wanted to mix with me," Evans recounted. "The boys were horrible and made my schooling unpleasant everyday of my school existence."
But he didn't lose his parents, despite his fears.
"You put yourself back in the moment," Evans said of his coming out, adding that "it was euphoric, in a way, because she didn't turn her back on me. I was ready to be thrown out and it didn't happen."
Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.