IVF and Queer Family-Building at the Movies

With the buzz surrounding the new Netflix film "Joy" – the Ben Taylor-directed account of how a team of British researchers achieved the world's first IVF conception and live birth in 1978 – it can be easy to forget that IVF has been portrayed on film and television for decades. Movies like the 2018 Netflix film "Private Life" dramatize how IVF can transform lives, and TV shows like "This Is Us" and "Friends" have memorably folded IVF storylines into their runs, helping to educate millions about the subject even as they entertain.

What hasn't been as widely portrayed is the role IVF plays in helping queer families realize their parenting dreams. IVF has become a major avenue for LGBTQ+ couples looking to welcome biological children into their lives, but Hollywood has scarcely taken notice.

Indeed, big-screen pickings are exceedingly slim, with the major exception of 2010's "The Kids Are All Right.' Lisa Cholodenko's comedic drama centers on a long-time lesbian couple, Nic and Jules (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore), who are raising a son and a daughter conceived using sperm from the same anonymous donor, Paul (Mark Ruffalo). When the daughter, Joni (Mia Wasikowska), seeks Paul out, he's taken aback; as time passes and he gets to know Joni and her brother, Laser (Josh Hutcherson), Paul finds himself slipping into a paternal role that begins to strain the already-frayed relationship between Nic and Jules. Issues of biological connection and family bonds swirl, with Laser becoming Paul's defender ("If he hadn't," Laser argues about Paul's youthful donations to a sperm bank, "we wouldn't be here, so – respect!"), while Nic comes to regard Paul as an "interloper."

The issues raised by the movie – donor anonymity, genetic legacy, family as defined by commitment as much as by blood – resonate today, but the big screen rarely accommodates such stories.

Another rare example of LGBTQ+ family building using IVF occurs as a subplot in Andy Vallentine's debut feature "The Mattachine Family," released earlier this year. After fostering a child that's now been returned to his mother, and facing a breakup with his husband, Thomas (Nico Tortorella) wrestles with grief and loneliness. But he also makes a point of being as supportive as he can to his best friend, Leah (Emily Hampshire), and her wife, Sonia (Cloie Wyatt Taylor), as they embark on their IVF journey. Leah's quest to fulfill her parenting instincts sharpens Thomas' sense of loss and longing. The film conveys deeply-felt messages around the emotional complexities of relationships and the fundamental equality of basic human connection; it's a shame there's not more like it out there.

Television has somewhat stepped in to fill the gap, with both documentaries and dramas. Two groundbreaking shows about queer people and their relationships made parenthood through fertility treatment central to storylines. Showtime's "Queer As Folk" (2000-2005), a long-running American adaptation of the 1999 British series, begins with the birth of a baby boy, Gus, to lesbian couple Lindsay (Thea Gill) and Melanie (Michelle Clunie). The couple have sourced the sperm for their IVF pregnancy from Lindsay's longtime friend, Brian (Gale Harold), and Lindsay has carried the pregnancy. A few seasons later, Melanie uses fertility treatment to become pregnant with the couple's second child, with Brian's best friend Michael (Hal Sparks) donating his sperm.

Showtime similarly tackled queer life in America with "The L Word" (2004 – 2009), a series focused on a group of lesbian and bisexual women. At the heart of the group are longtime couple Tina (Laurel Holloman) and Bette (Jennifer Beals), whose Season One storyline includes Tina's attempts to become pregnant through fertility treatments. Her treatments come to fruition at the end of Season Two, which culminates in the birth of the couple's daughter, Angie – who grows up in Showtime's sequel series "The L Word: Generation Q" (2019-2023) to seek information on her biological heritage, discovering a half-sister in the process. (Jordan Hull plays Angie as a teen.)

IVF played a part in the third season of the Netflix series "Master of None" (a series with its own subtitle, "Moments of Love") when Alicia (Naomi Ackie), the girlfriend of series regular Denis (Lena Waithe) uses IVF in an attempt to become pregnant. The show broke ground in depicting same-sex African-American relationships, as well as delving into queer family-building.

Perhaps more typical, though, has been the glancing acknowledgement in popular media of IVF and queer family building. Even brief mentions of queer family-building can have outsized impact, though. The long-running medical drama "ER" made a running joke in one memorable episode out of how the nurses on duty watched with admiration and envy as a young man demonstrated solicitous care for what the nurses assumed to be his pregnant wife – only for the young woman to turn out to be a gestational surrogate when the young man's male partner turned up and greeted him with a kiss. The moment was uproarious, but also poignant... and unforgettable.

On the more informational side, the ABC News documentary "Modern Baby" from 2019 presented the stories of three heterosexual couples seeking parenthood through IVF due to medical reasons like low ovarian reserve and reduced fertility in the aftermath of cancer treatment. But the doc also presented a fourth story: That of lesbian married couple Yessie and Sarah, who found their way to parenthood as much through rethinking what family means as learning, first-hand, how reproductive medical science makes it possible for queer couples to welcome their own biological children into the world.

TV and the movies may still have a way to go in terms of representing LGBTQ+ families and their parenting journeys, but real life is a few steps ahead of Hollywood at The Prelude Network, North America's largest and fastest-growing network of fertility clinics. Representation is second nature to the network's reproductive assistance experts, who make it a point to embrace and uplift queer couples as they embark on their family-building journeys.