Speaking from Experience :: Matthew Lynn on Dekkoo's Thruple Drama 'The Third'

Dekkoo's new drama "The Third" follows the journey of three men who embark on a committed three-way relationship. Middle-aged couple Carl (Corey Page) and David (Ryland Shelton) are on the rocks; they adapt by bringing Jason (Sean McBride), a twenty-something, into their home and making him part of their family.

But is Jason a co-equal, a third partner in a full functional relationship? Or is he a junior partner – something akin to an adopted son? Jason injects a dose of fresh sexual energy into Carl and David's marriage, but is that all he is – a panacea?

Carl is willing to make a go of it, to the point that he's willing to give up his own ongoing extracurricular relationship. But such complications can be messy, and don't always work out according to any one person's plans. Meantime, David faces pressure and disapproval from his ex-wife, with whom he shares a young son. Jason, for his part, hesitates to reveal his new relationship to his religious father. And looming over everything is a season-long mystery that's teased in the opening minutes of the very first episode.

The first season's half dozen installments are mostly 12 - 15 minutes in length, making the series a zippy, potent treat. Somehow, despite the constraints of run time and episode count, the series also manages to be funny – never more so than with the dry, skeptical musings of Jason's friend and former roommate Katelyn. Adding more snark and sass is gay waiter Aaron, who orbits the group from afar and, like a catty Oracle of LGBTQ Delphi, adds his two cents whenever he gets the chance.

EDGE had the opportunity to chat with series creator Matthew Lynn, who shared his insights into the thruple relationship and its special joys and complications. Among the interview's other highlights? A strong hint that there will be a Season Two to pick up and continue the many intriguing threads established by this first slate of episodes.

EDGE: I understand you have been in triad situations yourself, and you draw from those experiences for this series.

Matthew Lynn: I would say that this show is inspired by real events. I originally started writing the show based off a triad relationship that I was in years before, only to end up in one as we were writing the season. As they say: art imitates life, which imitates art. So it's hard to say where the line between "this really happened" and "we made it up" is. But I feel that all of the scenes, whether verbatim to real life or not, are based on things that really happened that I felt were unique to being in one of these relationships.

EDGE: What I see in "The Third" is what I have also heard from people I know who have, like you, been in such relationships: One member starts feeling excluded as the other two get closer than he might be comfortable with. Is that, in your experience, the way triads – or "thruples," as they are called – tend to go?

Matthew Lynn: I believe any three-way relationship is tough. You go from having one relationship to four: All the individual dyads + the group as a whole. All need nurturing, time alone, and support. So the mental space required for one of these is higher than you'd think.

I do know now, after meeting many of these relationships, that it takes a certain type of personality to make them work, emotional maturity being one of the most important thing and communication being the other. Like any relationship it takes work. The hardest part of being in a triad is trusting that when the other two members are together without you they have your best interest at heart. If you can master that, then you've come a long way.

EDGE: Would you say that a triad is more or less a variant on polyamory? Or is it really its own distinct sort of family / relationship configuration?

Matthew Lynn: My experiences in triads were poly fidelis, which means that we were a closed triad. So I do think it's unique. But also, the pairing of three people is very different than four. In a four-way relationship you can start to pair off, and in an open relationship you can look outside for support with your emotional needs.

A triad definitely feels more like a family for sure. There's something unique about three people. So to answer your question: I feel that it is different than polyamory. I think that's why we have so many words specifically for it: Thruple, three-way, triad, etc.

EDGE: "The Third" shows us two older men taking on a significantly younger third. Is such an age gap usually a part of triad situations? Or do triads, in your experience, also consist of three people of roughly the same age?

Matthew Lynn: I have seen triads with people who are the same age, but for the most part it's a younger person with two older people. I do know multiple triads that have a younger person, but usually the successful ones are couples who feel they are very content in their relationship and want to share their love with more people.

It's still tough to integrate another person, but I know multiple triads that have done it successfully and are quite happy. In my experience, usually it's a younger person looking for stability and an older couple wanting to share their lives. Of course, there are always exceptions...

EDGE: David and Carl, the older couple in "The Third," are in a failing relationship, and it seems like a recipe for disaster when they take on a younger lover, Jason, because it seems like the gay equivalent to straights trying to save their marriage by having a child. Also, when Jason sees the older, pre-existing couple, David and Carl, bickering he tries to broker peace and it seems like he's feeling that he's the one to blame for their problems. Kids of divorcing parents will be triggered by this! How deliberate was that parallel in the writing of the show?

Matthew Lynn: We structured the story as a mystery, and the audience is in Jason's shoes. They don't know who to trust. They should be asking, "What's going on with Carl and David?" just like Jason is. By the end of the season, he gets a better understanding of what happened between them. He has to go through that journey first to realize that he has agency in the relationship.

I do feel that the overall arc of the season is something that every triad has to go through. You are developing a new dynamic between multiple people, and they all have to figure out if it is something that they want in their own time.

EDGE: Given that, as one character puts it, "people are complicated and the more people you involve the more complicated it gets," why do people even try to make triads work? And – can they work?

Matthew Lynn: There are many well adjusted and happy triads out there. When doing research for the show we found many groups online, and it's becoming more and more common for people to enter into such relationships.

Everyone deep down is searching for love. Even though my experience didn't end well, that doesn't mean it can't work for someone else. And I learned a lot going through it. It changed me as a person, and I think that the show captures that through Jason. We all have past relationships that helped form who we are. In a way, they are some of our most personal stories. It makes for compelling television

EDGE: What, essentially, is the secret to a happy and stable triad relationship?

Matthew Lynn: It really comes down to trust and honest communication. FOMO ["fear of missing out"] is a real thing, and must be avoided at all costs!

EDGE: The series explores so many issues (gay fatherhood, alcoholism, middle-aged men courting 20-somethings, the risks of opening up a relationship, even a passing mention of sex work – to name just a few!), but these six episodes, which are mostly 12 - 15 minutes in length, can't delve deeply into all those dimensions – even though they do a surprisingly good job within the time constraints they face. Will those problems be addressed more fully in Season Two?

Matthew Lynn: Absolutely! Most of our time in Season One is spent developing the triad relationship and building the world for the audience. At the beginning of Season Two all of that is established, and we can delve deeply into each individual character and relationship as well as introduce new characters to the story. This is just the beginning for Jason, Carl, David, Katelyn, and Aaron.

"The Third" begins streaming its first season on Dekkoo on Oct. 24.