Joan Rivers :: Can we talk?

The title of Joan Rivers's best selling comedy album was What Becomes a Semi-Legend Most?, but there's nothing 'semi' about her brash comedy and impressive career. From Second City to TV and film to the red carpet, Rivers has been a trailblazer in just about every corner of show business: one of the first major female stand-ups, the first woman to host The Tonight Show, and one of very few celebrities who's been open about her plastic surgery. After 50 years in the business, many people would be thinking of retiring, but when we spoke with Rivers by phone to get the skinny on her upcoming appearance in Boston, she sounded busy as ever, fielding multiple calls while getting a pedicure. As we soon learned, she's having too much fun to quit.

Q: Let's get right to the dishing. Have you seen that video of Liz Taylor howling?
A: Ooh, I'll have to Google that. I'll put it right next to Liza giggling.

Q: I understand you're working on a play?
A: Yes, I did a workshop in San Francisco, and we'll be doing it soon in LA, and we'll see from there. I don't want to talk about it until you see it. It's a one-woman show with four people.

Q: Okay, can you tell me what to expect from your Boston show
A: First of all, every gay man in Boston fucking well better show up. And I have lists. I want to have a good time, and good times come when there's a gay audience. I'm very excited, I hear it's a very pretty place.

Q: Why do you think the gays love you?
A: They like strong women, and women who are outspoken. And thank God!

Q: What do you think about drag queens imitating you?
A: I think it's wonderful! You have to understand, they can't imitate you unless people know who you are. Some people get offended, which is crazy. This just means people know who you are. I don't like it when they're not good, but when they're great it's terrific.

Q: Oh, have you seen a lot of them?
A: No, but every now and then when I do an appearance, they'll have a drag queen out on the red carpet doing me. And that's great. More work for everybody!

Q: Will we see you on the red carpet again?
A: I may stick to the internet. I love what we did for the Emmys this year, streaming video for VH1. It was so successful and so much fun. But who the hell knows. Careers are so strange. You never know what you're doing from one year to the next.

Q: I'm glad that went well, it sounded like there was some badness with TV Guide.
A: It was three of the unhappiest years of my entire 50-year career. They're not nice people. They owe me money. They're just not honorable. Anyone who's dishonest can get the fuck away from me!

Q: Can I print that?
A: As long as you put that they owe me money.

Q: Of course you've always been outspoken-
A: I think humor is what you make of it. I like my humor because it's exactly what I think.

Q: Do you ever worry about crossing a line?
A: All the time. But when you cross the line, so what? You say to the audience, "Gone too far?" And they either say yes or no.

Q: What if they say yes?
A: Then you say, "Wait, there's more. It gets worse!"

Q: Have you ever had bad reactions from celebrities you've poked fun at?
A: Never with the important ones. People that are big stars got there because they're smart. Smart people know it's all a game and that they should calm down. You're making $20 million a picture and things are wonderful. It's the little cheesies, who are fourth down on a sitcom, that get upset about something you say.

Q: Any one like that stand out?
A: They come and go so fast in this business. Look at who was important 10 years ago and who's important now. Totally different names.

Q: Yeah, I was looking at clips of people you've interviewed over the years, and so many of them have faded away.
A: Fifty years of interviewing! They've come and they've gone. So if they're not enjoying it, they're stupid.

Q: I think the networks are stupid for not giving you another talk show.
A: Whatever. Rosie got a talk show and they wouldn't let her talk. I really believe everything happens for the best. I say, something great is coming, and it always does.

Q: I wonder if people would be surprised to hear that from someone whose humor is so cutting.
A: That doesn't mean I'm negative. My life is wonderful, how could I be negative? My life has been a great journey making a living in a field I love. It's fabulous!

Q: You were a real pioneer for women in comedy.
A: Oh, I don't care about that. I'm still in the trenches.

Q: You don't want to be remembered for breaking new ground?
A: I'd like to be remembered as the funniest woman in the world, but really, who cares? Poor Vincent Van Gogh didn't sell a painting and now we all love him. But he doesn't know he's appreciated.

Q: I talk to female comics who say it's still tough being a woman in comedy...
A: Oh, that's such nonsense. It's a cop out. If my dog had five good minutes - if Hitler came back with 10 good minutes, he'd be on The Tonight Show. If you're funny, they are thrilled to have you. It's the same with actors. All my friends who really had talent broke through.

Q: Speaking of acting, I hope we see you on Nip/Tuck again.
A: I loved doing it, but I think Rosie took over my spot. Things come and go all the time.

Q: So can we expect some new material at your show?
A: Always. Everything changes. It just flows. Every once in a while I throw in some old stuff. Sometimes I get a request for, you know, the old gynecologist routine. So I'll do that to be nice, but I don't like doing old material. It doesn't amuse me anymore.

Q: You can't be stale if you're doing pop culture jokes.
A: You have to stay fresh. It's all about darling little Britney, and Lindsay and Paris. But they're getting a little boring.

Q: You have lots of material to choose from, with celebrities' bad behavior so visible these days.
A: Now, bad behavior makes you a star! In the old days, it could destroy you. But now if you show your vagina they'll make you a star. I'm thinking of showing mine, which is nice because I won't have to lift my dress.

Q: With so many people making fun of celebrities, is your job harder?
A: I don't have to change, it's all changed with me. People used to say I was too rough or whatever, but that's exactly where comedy is now.

Q: Any parting thoughts before I leave you to your pedi?
A: I want your headline to be: 'Attention all gays! I want you in the first 10 rows or I will hunt you down. I know where you live.'

Joan Rivers plays Berklee Performance Center at 8 p.m. on Sat., Oct. 27 with special guests Madame and Joe Kovacs. Tickets $46-$76. Info: .617.747.2261.