Durkin memorialized at Allston church

About 40 people gathered Oct. 21 at St. Luke's and St. Margaret's Episcopal Church in Allston to celebrate the memory of Corporal Ciara Durkin, the lesbian National Guard soldier serving in Afghanistan who was found dead from a gunshot wound last month. Durkin's family joined with members of the congregation of which Durkin had been a part before leaving to join the National Guard to talk about the ways that Durkin touched their lives. Durkin was memorialized in two funeral services, one in Quincy and one in her native Ireland, earlier this month.

During his sermon, the Rev. Cameron Partridge, who became a priest at the church after Durkin had already left, said that since her death he had been told by church members about the powerful impact Durkin had had both on the church and on the surrounding community. He said after attending St. Luke's and St. Margaret's for several years she was received into the Episcopal Church in 2003 by Bishop Tom Shaw, and she served on the vestry, the congregation's governing board.
Partridge said members of the congregation described Durkin as a "remarkable person, full of life and passion, unafraid to be herself and say what she thought."

He told mourners the suddenness of Durkin's death has been compounded both by the unsolved nature of her death and to its connection to larger political issues. Durkin was killed on a secure U.S. military base, and according to her family she had told them prior to her death that she had concerns for her safety and that they were to push for an investigation if anything happened to her.

"It seems to me that two factors add to that difficulty [in bearing the loss of Durkin]. First the fact that we still don't know the circumstances of her death, and second, the way in which her loss has come to animate, personalize abstract political issues that are so important to our country's national conversation right now," said Partridge. "Issues like gays in the military and the war in Afghanistan and, by extension, Iraq, have become human and interconnected in new ways. Through Ciara all of us are now connected to this national conversation in ways we might never have anticipated."

During the service Partridge invited mourners to share their memories of Durkin.

One parishioner, Debbie Lowe, said she remembered the homemade treats that Durkin and her former partner Jennifer Jensen would prepare for church coffee hour.

"Sometimes Ciara didn't come up to church because they were busy making this really nutritious, well-balanced meal for us," said Lowe, prompting laughter from the attendees. She said Durkin shunned the simple coffee hour standards like coffee cakes and instead brought in dandelion quiches, soups, and other Irish delicacies, labeling each dish with a card giving the name of the food in Gaelic.

Carol Bolstad, a former member of the congregation, described seeing Durkin during the latter's first visit to the church.
"She was sitting over here and she was very quiet, and I remember she had these great big, gorgeous eyes, and she was just looking in wonder about this new space she had entered into," said Bolstad.

She said she had coffee with Durkin when Durkin was contemplating joining the military.

"I told her honestly I was real concerned for her, but I could see it was something that she really wanted to do. She wanted to do extraordinary things, you know? She really did. And hearing the stories that people told a couple weeks ago at the wake and seeing the wonderful video that was put together of her, I could see how much it changed her because she was able to live into what she really wanted to do, what she really believed in," said Bolstad.

Jane Greenspan, Durkin's former neighbor in Jamaica Plain, told a story about how Durkin's penchant for lateness became an unexpected boon. She said the church's former pastor threw her a party the night before she was scheduled to go in for day surgery, but Durkin and Jensen got the date wrong and showed up the next day, while Greenspan was recuperating on her porch.
"We had this enormously fun, energetic afternoon and evening. Ciara could party, and I mean that in the most positive way. She could make an atmosphere and talk to anybody and bring joy to things that sometimes aren't so joyful," said Greenspan.

Leslie Gleason, another parishioner, talked about the contributions Durkin had made to the life of the church.

"I'm really glad that all of us could be here together because I see her either physically or spiritually in everybody in this place, and that's so wonderful. And she's in every inch of this building as well, whether she's painting or putting up plastic [to insulate the windows] or gardening or trying her hand at altar guild or cooking, she is in every piece of this place," said Gleason.
Durkin's brother, Pierce, told attendees that he was thankful for the happiness that the church brought his sister.

"The family has been really trying to quantify what it was that made Ciara so happy in our last memories of her, and I think I can see, in addition to what she told me, is that this church really brought her so much happiness and peace. And for that our memories of Ciara and her happiness and constant smiles and those glowing blue eyes are certainly a tribute to you, and I thank you all for that," he said.