The happy homo hooker

In literature's roster of wonderful opening lines, Blue Blake may not be as pithy as Melville ("Call me Ishmael.") as evocative as du Maurier ("Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." or as quotable as Dickens ("It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." But for sheer memorability, it's hard to beat Blake's "Can somebody stop that bloody Doberman licking Caesar's balls?"

Thus begins Out of the Blue: Confessions of an Unlikely Porn Star, Blake's hilarious memoir of his experience in the sex industry. Having been a dancer (legit and erotic,) a prostitute, an actor (legit and erotic) and producer, the beefy Brit has quite a tale to tell. The porn star and producer spoke to Bay Windows, while on holiday in London, about letting it all hang out for all the world to see.

Q: Are you shooting on location right now?
A: Oh, this is a terrible story. I came over here to shoot a movie called Blue Blake's British Beefcake. And I only found half the models I needed. And then I thought, screw this, I'll take the summer off. I'm such a lazy pig. So I've been traveling. Did you like the book?

Q: Yes. I was skeptical, but it's a good read. It's very funny.
A: Everyone says that! They say: I thought it was going to be a bitter autobiography, but it was hilarious.

Q: Maybe it helps that you tell people to have a drink while reading it. But yeah, I thought it was witty.
A: Oh, thank you. It took forever to write! I think it took six years. That's really bad, isn't it? But at least I wrote it myself. I did my A levels in English literature, but that was the last time I wrote something. Obviously I wrote all these porn movies, but that doesn't take much. I enjoyed the experience of writing the book. I got some writing advice from Jackie Collins! She said you write from nine in the morning till noon. Then you go to Spago for lunch. You come back at two and write until six. Then you go to the Ivy for dinner. [laughs]

Q: Why write your autobiography now?
A: Because I was in such a good place in my life, and I wanted to write it before I got any bloody older and forgot the details. It's very strange. I don't know if you've written your autobiography...

Q: I've written several.
A: [laughs] Well then you know! It's exhausting to do. You actually relive all those moments in your life, and they're weird moments. My life has been all over the place. I would never do it again.

Q: Really? I thought you left room for a sequel.
A: Perseus Press wants me to write a sequel and I will do that. That will be less grueling. Because I had to remember growing up poor and being a kid and all those guys who fucked me over. You know when you're sixteen and you let people fuck you over? Whereas now, I'd go round and burn his house down.

Q: Did I mention I'm recording this?
A: That's okay, there's no secrets anymore!

Q: No kidding! I hate to think what you left out of the book.
A: The most important thing to me was to not sound bitter. Because I had a great time in porn. I still do. I didn't want to say that porn screwed me over, and I don't like all these people. ...I know that there's a lot of people who do feel that way about porn, but I don't feel that way at all.

Q: Did you ever wonder if you were going too far in the other direction?
A: When I read it, I think it doesn't look rosy at all. When I didn't get paid, and midgets were trying to have sex with me! I think it was very truthful, and I attained a middle ground. Parts of it are sad ... actually one thing that I am a little sad about now is that when I was writing it, I was angry at the producers of Making Porn.

Q: I didn't really get that reading it. I did pick up some anger at Ryan Idol.
A: And actually, I really adore Ryan. But I was trained to be an actor, and when you're on stage with someone who isn't trained, you can't help but feel aggravated.

Q: Plus he was difficult.
A: Well, yeah. [laughs]. But he was actually a sweet person. He wasn't bad. I think that what happened with him was just too much fame. You can either not care about that, or let it go to your head.

Q: It doesn't seem to have gone to your head.
A: I just realized it was what it was. I was a porn star, I wasn't rewriting history! And I was old when I got into it. I did my first film when I was 30. I'd had an interesting life already. And I wasn't in love with my looks. I hung out with Ryan and Jeff Stryker and Ken Ryker and I knew I wasn't a scratch on them. But I knew I was sexy, and that was more important.

Q: But you started sex work when you were pretty young.
A: Yes, I needed the cash. I stopped to go to drama school, but then I fell back into the trap of being a hooker. The problem with being a hooker is that you make so much money that it's hard to stop. And I liked the sex industry.

Q: What do you think people in the industry will think about the book?
A: I think that everybody that reads the book will know that it's true, and I was very fair. So they'll be sweating, and then when they read it they'll be relieved, because there's a lot of stuff I left out!

Q: Sounds like another reason for a sequel! Or extra fodder for a play.
A: One of my friends is a producer, and he wants to turn it into a one man show. But my idea is more like The Drowsy Chaperone. I would read from the book and my life would go by on the stage behind me. I'm about big drama. And I don't want to play myself at 18. Baby, I'm 45. I'm plumpy now!