Kathy Griffin

Two-time Emmy and Grammy award-winning stand-up comedian, actress and author Kathy Griffin has hit the road again, making stops across the U.S. and, lucky for us, a few here in California. No doubt, she will be searching for "her gays" as part of her 80-city tour, "Like A Boss."

In 2014, Griffin made history with her sixth consecutive Grammy nomination and first win for Best Comedy Album ("Kathy Griffin: Calm Down Gurrl"), joining Whoopi Goldberg and Lily Tomlin as the only female comedians to win a Best Comedy Album Grammy. Griffin remains a fierce ally in the gayborhood, garnering additional recognition including: The Human Rights Campaign's Ally for Equality, GLAAD's Vanguard Award and The Trevor Life Award from the Trevor Project.

If perchance you are mixing her up with another Kathy of the Lee Gifford type (Lawd help you), you might want to pull up Griffin's late night talk show, "Kathy," on YouTube...Nothing Gifford-y there.

Or pick up her memoir and Official Book Club Selection: "A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin." My personal favorite is Griffin's reality series, "My Life on the D-List," which aired for six years on Bravo.

Or, as I did, you can try chatting with Griffin... What a wild ride! She is witty and quick, and this 15-minute interview is total satisfaction.

Lisa! What a pleasure. In all my time of being interviewed by gay magazines, I have never been interviewed by a lesbian before... So are you SSM or a SIL?

Well, I'm not sure... both?

You're supposed to be on top of these things! Maybe you want to make up your own alphabet letters? There are still a few left.

[Post-interview research: I am a SSM-Same-Sex Married, not a SIL-Single Independent lady. Thanks Kathy!]

Maybe XYZ. (Laughing) I saw that you tweeted out a bikini picture. How do I get my very own Kathy Griffin "I Love America" star-spangled version?

I think I bought that at a souvenir shop in Miami. Then, you have to put on red pumps and get your gay assistant to do a photo shoot... I've been known to be naked or throw a bikini on and Instagram myself. I try to keep up with social media. But, when in doubt, I just take my clothes off.

That works! I always said the only way we'll get a female centerfold in The Rage Monthly is when someone interviews you.

Well, I'm ready to be airbrushed and naked. It's just another day at the office for me.

Tell me your thoughts on the presidential race.

Well, in this political landscape, because of you-know-who, it has become so contentious. I post one funny political comment and I'll get a million tweets to boycott me. I tell them, "Come on, you can't boycott funny!" It is definitely getting a little sketchy out there. We've never had a candidate this nuts-well maybe George Wallace back in the day-but at least we shut his ass down.

The good thing is, I have these stories about Donald Trump that are fucking jaw-droppers. I've never told them before, in all the years I have known that lunatic and I have run into him many times, because if you work in New York, you run into this guy all the time. I actually have not told my Trump stories, because frankly, my audiences didn't want to hear about him. All the sudden
I have stories that are gold, and I am having the most fun going town to town, spreading the good word about the real deal with The Donald. I even have one run-in with him that includes Liza Minnelli.

Woah! A story with both Trump and Liza? How do you do it?

Well, I do make it my mission to have personal encounters with all these people. Like the fact that I just moved a week ago and now my neighbors are Kim and Kanye. And, I don't mean down the block, I mean, like, 15 feet away. The pure irony of that is ridiculous and also funny. I don't know whose happy or more miserable, them or me. Whenever my friends come over, they're like, "How did this happen?" And I say, "It just fucking did." I was looking for a house for a year, I finally found one and it's next to those psychos... And I think it is hilarious.

What can you say? Jesus provides.

I know! Kris Jenner has come over twice, and that is also hilarious. All she wants to do is hang out with my mom. I am pretty sure they are establishing a super-secret friendship. My mom loves to throw me under the bus, so my mom is going to become the beloved neighbor of Kim and Kanye and not me. But, that's how Maggie rolls at 96, she is still more of a diplomat than I ever will be.

I love her. How was her 96th Birthday?

Well, it was surrounded by gay men, and we had a non-gay meal-it was all carbs-pizza and cake. She actually had a story that I thought was pretty genius. We went around the table, I said, "Okay everybody this is your chance to talk to a genuine, aware, not feeble 96-year-old. What questions do you have?' The question one of the boys had was, "Who was your first gay friend?"

My mom had this unbelievable story about little Timmy, who went to her Catholic grade school. She never put the pieces together, but Little Timmy would show up and he didn't want to hang out with the boys at lunch and he didn't want to play with like, GI Joes. He wanted to hang out with the girls
and play with dolls. They all liked him, and he would come to school in makeup, and they didn't think anything of it. They just thought he was artistic and theatrical.

I said, "Mom, do you realize, little Timmy is like the original activist?" I mean, my mom is 96, and for a boy in her grade to show up to a Catholic School with makeup on is kind of amazing. Where's his parade, where's his monument?

We should start a GoFundMe campaign for little Timmy's monument.

Little Timmy should have spoken at the fucking National Democratic Convention, damn it.

So, can we talk for a moment about Caitlyn Jenner?

Sure. Well, I support her journey, obviously. But the great gift that was handed to me as a comic is that she is just not a very bright person. She's not a bad person, but it is sort of comical when you watch "I Am Cait," and I watch every episode. I really respect Jenny Boylan and Chandi Moore. The entire show is predicated around surrounding Catilyn with much, much smarter women, who have to tell her everything. Like when she didn't know what the HRC was. I mean, how have you not heard of the Human Rights Campaign? You do have to give it up for the ladies on that show, they are really working hard to teach her... What is GLAAD? What is the struggle of a trans woman? It's like Trans 101. And most trans women don't have a giant Malibu mansion on their own mountain.

Regarding your talent, do you think you were born with it, or was it finely tuned over time?

I think it is both. I have a classic comedian story:

Unusual childhood, dysfunctional family. So there's that textbook stuff, and then I'm very lucky. I found out pretty early on what I loved to do. I wanted to make people laugh more than anything. The way I like to do that, is to look a little deeper and shine the light on things. You know, like I am the town crier.
I write all the time, anytime something funny happens to me. And, some things only happen to me. Like, I actually got to see Hillary Clinton a few weeks ago. I was backstage with Hillary and Cher, and then the Secret Service tried to kick me out of the room, but I didn't know who they were. I stayed too long, and it was embarrassing. I didn't find out until later that they kept trying to kick me out.

(Laughter)

That would only happen to you. So, what's coming up after this tour?

I can tell you that I have a book coming out November 22 called "Kathy Griffin's Celebrity Run- Ins!" It's an A-to-Z index of celebrities that I have
had all kinds of encounters with... Some stories are jaw-dropping, and some are more like love letters. There are a lot of the people in it who you wouldn't think I know or have met. It may be so juicy that I may never work again, which also would be great. I might make a couple more enemies, but maybe I will make a couple more friends.

For more information on Kathy Griffin's upcoming book, Celebrity Run-Ins and all things going on in her world, go to kathygriffin.net.

Her "Like a Boss" tour will be in SoCal at the California Center for the Arts in Escondido on Saturday, September 10. For tickets and more information, call 760.839.4138 or go to artcenter.org