Lil Nas X Shares 'Terrifying' Coming Out Experience

Since the release of his massive country bop "Old Town Road," Lil Nas X has been on a journey to show the world who he truly is as a pop star and a person.

At times it's been shocking, see his music video for "MONTERO Call Me By Your Name)" or his most recent video for "Industry Baby." But Nas X says what you see is all part of Montero, his real name, in a recent interview with Out magazine.

During the interview, Nas X gets candid about growing up in Atlanta, Georgia, and trying to make his music dreams come true as a Black, gay rapper.

"Growing up in the Atlanta area, I [saw] a lot of microaggressions towards homosexuality," he told Out. "Little things like going into an IHOP and hearing one of your family members say, 'Look at those faggots' to two people eating or even just a small [statement like] 'Boys don't cry.' Little shit like living in the hood, not being super into sports, and then having to go outside and pretend that I was."

The experience led Nas X to push his true identity out of sight, "Almost convincing myself that it's not even actually there," he shared.

"Growing up, I didn't realize it, but I've always been kind of my own hand on my own shoulder," he told Out. "I had to lift myself up when I was down, from fucking 9 years old, because I don't feel like me and my dad ever had a super emotional connection after he got custody of me and my brother, and I didn't really get that with my mom and my siblings."

Nas X famously came out in 2019 on Twitter. Since then, he has been exploring the expression of his sexuality in his music and pushing the boundaries of what it means to be a rapper.

"Mentally, it's really draining and straining sometimes," he said, living up and out of the stereotypes of what a rapper should be. "The pressure of living your entire life knowing the identity of what a rapper is supposed to be, what rappers [are supposed to] do, and going out there in front of all these people, it's terrifying."

Terrifying, but acceptance isn't always comfortable.

"[People always say] go where you're accepted and stuff like that, but you can't always just go where you're accepted," he told Out. "You've got to go and break down those walls and say, 'This is my space now too.'"

Bravo!